If at First You Don't Succeed...

I've been here before, with your sibling, your older brother or sister who never came to be. But, you are here now. You. And I love you. I am ready to start this journey again, and I pray to God that it ends with you in my arms. Oh, my little one. I was so heart broken, and the pieces will never quite fit back together, but I am ready to carry you now, to love you now, to focus on you now, and make sure you are healthy.

I can't lie and say that I am not nervous, nervous that you may not come to term as well, that I may lose you, too. I always say "third times the charm" but, I am not so sure that I would be able to lose your sibling and then you and still be able to try once more. The miscarriage wasn't an easy thing, and I weep for those women who have experienced it even once. I am just not sure if I am strong enough to experience that pain more than twice. Nothing is guaranteed, but I am in with my whole heart. I will dive right in to you with no reservations and pray for the best...

Yesterday, October 23rd, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. The line was a little light, so I took another one today, and this one was definitely positive! You're father and I are ecstatic. You were planned, and it only took a month to conceive you thanks to a couple of handy-dandy ovulation tests that let us know exactly the right time to try for you. I am a little upset we didn't use them sooner, as it took us five months to conceive the first time but, I digress. I am bursting with joy at your arrival and already feeling cramps and gas. You've come in like a wrecking ball, and I don't mind at all.

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