You Are Here: A Baby Tale

...And now you're not. The most horrible thing has occurred, and I am heartbroken- I've had a miscarriage. I found out yesterday during our first OBGYN appointment. "Blighted Ovum" is the proper term. The doctor couldn't find anything but "debris" on the ultrasound, the very place you were meant to be. We thought we would get our first small glimpse at you, our little raspberry, but instead, there were only snowy remains. I am so hurt. I didn't know I'd lost you, didn't know you were gone, as I had no symptoms. I have never gone from excited to distressed so quickly in my life; my how a single world can crumble so. My heart is shattered and my mind is fractured. The grief is strong and I mourn you. I mourn what you were and what you could've been. I mourn for your father; he hurts now, too. I'm crying as I write this, I cried when we found out, too. I cried in front of three complete strangers, but do you think I care? I'd cry in ...

Oh, boy, do I have news! Well, it's not news so much as a small development: I have a stretch mark. Two, to be exact. They're right next to each other, and I am honestly a little alarmed. This is because the internet told me I wouldn't see any belly gain until about three months, and it's barely been two! I don't notice a difference in my stomach size, but those broken veins suggest otherwise. I was worried I that would get stretch marks, as I have quite a few from a crazy growth spurt I had in middle school, and it appears that my fears are valid. Luckily, I have some cream that is supposed to help prevent them, along with water consumption; water is supposed to allow the skin to be more elastic. However, I'm now concerned the internet's claims were either lies or that they just don't apply to me, which is honestly a shame. I have to apologize to you little one; I'm not blaming you, it's just that it seems as though the female body isn't ...

The past two days have been some of the sleepiest and hungriest I have ever experienced in my life. They tell me you're growing quickly at about six weeks, and I believe it wholeheartedly. I have been nodding off at work, going to bed early, and taking naps whenever I can. I've stayed up until the sun peaked over the horizon more than once, and I can honestly say that that tiredness has nothing on this! I've never been one to really consume caffeine; in fact, I don't like the bitter taste of coffee and energy drinks have way too any calories, however, I did used to suck on couple of caffeine mints once a day to get through work. But, because of you and my desire to not get hooked on caffeine, I have been abstaining altogether, which means that I have been super struggling. I have nothing to boost my energy or give me a pick-me-up, and it made this week all the more difficult. Hopefully, this fatigue won't continue throughout the pregnancy, but if it does, I may just...

We scheduled your first doctor's appointment today...well, sort of. Apparently, you're supposed to go see your baby doctor, also known as an Obstetrician, at eight to nine weeks, and you'll be just about there by August the 20th, which is the appointment date. This is the first of many appointments to come; I think I'm supposed to go to one a month until your arrival, and let me tell you, I'm not looking forward to it. Doctors like to poke and prod and I hate needles. Luckily, your father will be with me every step of the way to calm my nerves. The nurse who made the appointment informed me to begin taking pre-natal vitamins and omega-3, but, luckily for her, and you, I've already been doing that. Your father and I need you to be as healthy and smart as possible so that you have a good head start at conquering the world. I'm going to ask SO many questions! I'm going to ask exactly how old you are, when we can expect you, how long I have to keep taking th...